In need of a time out...

I've not forgotten, it's just all been overwhelming here, and I am still chanting November is coming... It's not the blogging, but finding the space and time to pause and blog, and when I am needed by so many, the things I want to do are the first things to be shoved aside, for all the things I need to do. Actually, it's more like all I want to do gets put on hold, for everything everyone needs me to do... 15yo spawn needed running around for work experience stuff, 13yo spawn missed the bus, Mumsy needs picking up, Murphy needs some attention and exercise, driving half an hour to pick up spawn only to find they are staying the night at their friends... Dinner, washing, dishes, making bread, and never being alone. Even as write this hiding in my bedroom for some silence and solitude, my door is being knocked on and 10yo spawn enters, in this small paragraph I've been interrupted 4 times... Hence the recent not blogging. 

The question I ask myself is this, where did my boundaries go? Why is what I want to do, less important than what everyone else wants me to do? Being a mum doesn't mean that I have to give up everything that makes me who I am, nor should it mean I give up every precious snippet of time I have. But somewhere inside is a feeling of guilt or inadequacy if I can't do it all. Some of these detrimental feelings come from living with disabilities, and not functioning on par with the average person, and more so as my children have lived through things I couldn't have ever thought I'd have to prevent or protect them from. The lesson I have to learn, how to put my own personal value level with theirs. If I dont look after me, how can I look after them? 

So here's to the parents of the world, may we take time out to remember who we are and in that, be even more amazing parents and happier role models for the sake of our spawn. 

Step one for me in operation take back Becky, I have a date with my partner Justin on Friday night. Thanks to Miss perky pants offering to take the spawn, we will be having a dinner (that I don't have to cook or clean up after), followed by a movie (Ted), and I will be staying the night at Justins house (something I have only done once in almost a year). But wait, it's not over yet, Sunday night will see me at a Karnivool gig with Miss perky pants, and I don't have to drag myself out of bed early on Monday, yay for school holidays. All in all it's a weekend full of epic win! 

A picture I took of Mr Ian Kenny at my last karnivool gig. I still have the set list I scored stuck to my wardrobe door. 

November is coming, but this weekend is closer, 

Bek.