More late night ramblings...

Taken at Wilsons prom last month, I really wish I was back there right now. 

I didn't tell you, instead of our November Sydney trip, little miss perky and I went to Wilsons Prom. It was my first time there, and our 5 day trip wasn't long enough, I loved it. I will have to share that with you sometime soon. 

  Today's date is 12.12.12, and that means, Alexisonfire at festival hall in Melbourne. My mum paid for little miss perky and I to go, and it has been on the schedule for months. Unfortunately, the cleaning, packing, stress and heat have put me out of commission, and it's devasting because this is their final tour. The band has broken up. Sometimes I really wish my body was a constant. It's hard to keep plans when your health is a time bomb. The good news is my ticket has been snapped up by 15yo spawn, and I am happy to have her buy me a T-shirt and tell me how awesome it was. Who knows, maybe they'll do a reunion tour one day, but from now on, I will reluctantly resign myself to designated seating instead of the mosh pit. 

Instead of the concert, I am trying to find the strength to keep packing and tidying, we have more people coming to check out the house tomorrow, its a frightful state, and I am exhausted. I was so tired last night, I fell asleep waiting for the chicken stock to cool and it stayed out all night, needless to say I was not taking any chances and it was thrown out, what a waste. The plumber will be here at 7.30am to fix the bathroom taps, so I have to get everyone up an hour earlier to shower, and I think I'll be tidying til after midnight. I am really looking forward to a simpler time, but I can't even begin to imagine when that could be possible. 

All my hopes are currently pinned on the country house, 2 whole acres making five paddocks, and a wood burning stove. I can't stop my thoughts from turning to horses, chickens, ducks, veggies, and bread in the wood stove. Maybe even some jam making, preserving, and a market stall with my homegrown wares... And the writing, finding some alone time to finish my novels. I am sure I have plotted the next 50years, and none of it seems slow, simple, or particularly realistic. But it is nice to dream. 

Maybe I'll go to bed now and get up two hours earlier tomorrow, sweet dreams,

Bek.

Midnight sharings...

The frugal chicken stock I am making for tomorrow night is bubbling on the stove, and I am taking a break from packing to write this, any excuse will do, but at least this feels productive.

We really liked the little two acre property, and the joy of a house that could be our home for many years is extremely appealing, so we put in an offer and it was accepted! 

Hopefully, fingers crossed, this could be our new home.

Before I moved here, I had probably moved more than 16 times in ten years. This house has been over six years of bliss and security that I have never known before, and packing up my little sanctuary fills me with sadness, I will miss this little house, and all of the dreams and plans we had for it. But someone new will come, and with them will come other plans and hopes and dreams, it was just not meant to be ours. 

I still have hopes, dreams, and plans, but I will be spending them on a hundred year old, relocated farmhouse, and the paddocks that surround it. My mum mentioned to a friend our potential new homes location, and it just so happens he has spent quite a bit of time there, and offered us a free horse, wow. It is weird how sometimes the right time, the right place, and the right circumstances can come together. We would have to do some fast work on the stables, and check the fences but, there is a lot of room...

Hoping not to put the cart before the horse,

Bek. 

It could be home...

  

It think this is a cherry tree, I will be posting various fruit tree photos throughout, if you know what they are, please let me know, and I still would love to hear from brave treechangers out there. Or even those who have left the country and braved suburbia. Please share your experiences, and advice.

As I wrote earlier today, we decided to look at a house to purchase in a tiny rural town. It has a mini orchard, (hence the questioning fruit tree photos), a place to keep the chickens, it has a perfect place for veggie growing, several fenced paddocks, and even a stable. Everything is in varying states of disrepair, but I won't post those photos as its not my property... Yet. 

Crab apples? 

There is a huge cypress out the front, that my youngest has claimed as hers, infact, every one has claimed a room, a paddock, and has started to make plans. I myself walked through with much trepidation, I squashed hope, excitement, and my hearts yearning, with every flaw I could find. But alas, even the old unfinished floors, that bowed and sagged so badly, couldn't stop my stupid brain from screaming mine! 

Plums?

I tried to tell my heart that the bullnose veranda looked like a truck fell on it, or that I hate the oh-so-pink bathroom with the rusty bathtub. I really do hate pink, but my heart said, live with it for a while, you can fix it... Eventually. 

Apricots or maybe almonds?

Hope would not leave as I looked at the overgrown paddocks, it whispered jersey cow and goats, more fruit trees, berries, and space, your space, your land. I told hope about responsibility, fence mending, and the added expenses of slashing and a ride on mower. You'll learn, we'll find a way she gently whispered, reinforcing Justin's own words. And Justin's hope came out too, ours, it could all be ours. 

No idea?

Well after that, my stupid excitement wouldn't be quiet either. We have found that there is a local school bus that will take kids to high school, and the primary school is visible through the opposite neighbours paddocks. There is a pub, a general store/post office, and a communtity hall with more community groups than our whole family could ever have the time for. We did come across a scary person, via my daughter who had some guy yell across the road at her (she was walking down the Main Street to use the pub toilets,) to go and bash someone in the house she was passing, but sadly for my head, excitement would not be quelled. He's only one, I'm sure the other 300 odd people are fine. The gentleman who could be our new neighbour returned the hello, okay, he said it rushed like, and walked extra fast away, but I think that had more to do with the two greyhounds he was walking, and his own hope that I might not be stupid enough to approach them. 

So now we are looking at the cost of firewood, and ride on mowers. The feasibility of cheap carpet offcuts, second hand bathtubs, and temporary fence solutions for murphy. This could be home... 

Bek.

Looking at a treechange...

I know it has been a long time since I last wrote a post, and there have been so many posts that could've been written, but the last few months could have been written as a series of unfortunate events, parts one through twenty. With all that's gone on, I couldn't bring myself to write any of it down, fear I think is the blocker here, fear of if I had shared it all, I couldn't ignore the amount i'm carrying. Mostly, I just want a do over, if only life was like a game, I could pause, load an earlier save, and do it all again, maybe make it all better. Or prevent some things that have happened. I don't think I'm hopeless, just tired of always shovelling it uphill, the effort is wearing me down, I just hope that soon it gets easier. 

One of the more prominent issues is finding a new home, my landlords are selling this one, and although I was hoping to buy it, I am not eligible to borrow enough from the bank, almost, but not quite. So the hunt is on, I need out of here as quickly as possible, brave are the people who can handle house showings while you live there. The agent is nice, and so are the people, I am just too damn self conscious to cope, and physically keeping the house at showing standards is hard on my ailing body. 

I got lazy yesterday, I was so unwell, and today I'll be struggling, I will be looking at a very promising home that will fit us comfortably, with 2 acres, and a wood burning stove! Scarily, it is in an agricultural town of just over three hundred, and No high school. I go from this could be the dream, to, this feels like the start of a horror movie. Family moves into a small town in the middle of nowhere, it's a real fixer upper but they are looking at a fresh start, things go well until.... Enter horror theme here? 

I think one of the challenges for me will be living so far from the hospitals, will country doctors understand my conditions,  will they have the tools and skills to manage me when only a select few do in the city? And then there are the frequent trips to the royal children's hospital that I need to make, and I don't think I can afford a hotel. I know that some people travel 4 hours in the morning to get to the RCH (waiting room chatter), so I don't think there will be a rural option.

I would love to hear from people who have bravely taken the leap, made the difficult decision to move away from everyone and everything out into the rural unknown, what challenges did you face? Tell me the good bits too. What benefits have you or your family noticed? Does the good bad ratio balance up? 

Desperately seeking feedback, 

Bek.