Looking at a treechange...

I know it has been a long time since I last wrote a post, and there have been so many posts that could've been written, but the last few months could have been written as a series of unfortunate events, parts one through twenty. With all that's gone on, I couldn't bring myself to write any of it down, fear I think is the blocker here, fear of if I had shared it all, I couldn't ignore the amount i'm carrying. Mostly, I just want a do over, if only life was like a game, I could pause, load an earlier save, and do it all again, maybe make it all better. Or prevent some things that have happened. I don't think I'm hopeless, just tired of always shovelling it uphill, the effort is wearing me down, I just hope that soon it gets easier. 

One of the more prominent issues is finding a new home, my landlords are selling this one, and although I was hoping to buy it, I am not eligible to borrow enough from the bank, almost, but not quite. So the hunt is on, I need out of here as quickly as possible, brave are the people who can handle house showings while you live there. The agent is nice, and so are the people, I am just too damn self conscious to cope, and physically keeping the house at showing standards is hard on my ailing body. 

I got lazy yesterday, I was so unwell, and today I'll be struggling, I will be looking at a very promising home that will fit us comfortably, with 2 acres, and a wood burning stove! Scarily, it is in an agricultural town of just over three hundred, and No high school. I go from this could be the dream, to, this feels like the start of a horror movie. Family moves into a small town in the middle of nowhere, it's a real fixer upper but they are looking at a fresh start, things go well until.... Enter horror theme here? 

I think one of the challenges for me will be living so far from the hospitals, will country doctors understand my conditions,  will they have the tools and skills to manage me when only a select few do in the city? And then there are the frequent trips to the royal children's hospital that I need to make, and I don't think I can afford a hotel. I know that some people travel 4 hours in the morning to get to the RCH (waiting room chatter), so I don't think there will be a rural option.

I would love to hear from people who have bravely taken the leap, made the difficult decision to move away from everyone and everything out into the rural unknown, what challenges did you face? Tell me the good bits too. What benefits have you or your family noticed? Does the good bad ratio balance up? 

Desperately seeking feedback, 

Bek.