Patience and other virtues...

It has taken four years but big things have started with excitement, and stalled in a typical for us fashion, like my floors... Justin had planned to use his two weeks off over christmas to restump the house, and finally give us straight floors. It was an ambitious plan that required the hired help of two tradesman from work, and optimistically, some help from friends and the spawn. In anticipation of the coming help, the lounge room floor was ripped up, and we moved everything deemed unnecessary to a shipping container in the front paddock, that was nearly 3 months ago. Life got in the way with weddings, birthdays, and other social engagements we couldn't say no to, tradesmen were unavailable, and everyone has been busy, unable to make the trip, or they have come for more of a social visit or car part pick up. It doesn't help that we are not the most organised pair of people, and a working bee would mean entertaining and feeding people, with my rheumatoid arthritis, and other health issues, I am not up to doing that, so we haven't asked for much assistance.

First up was our lounge room floor, it was slow and tedious work for Justin, as he tried to save every separate floor board, lifting each part of it a little at a time, and cutting the nails until the board was free. We then realised that we have no stumps supporting the outer walls, just bricks haphazardly stacked on uneven dirt. There is no door on our lounge room, so the outside has been coming in through those gaps for the past 2 months, flies, mosquitos and other bugs/animals/amphibians, it has been a trying experience and aeroguard is the new before bed routine.

We also found out some pretty terrifying things are holding our house up, and that we are definitely making the right choice to fix our floors, instead of living with them for a while longer.

Yep, thats a bit of wood angled under our bearer, on some old stacked bricks, resting on a wedge of rock, on a chunk of bluestone, in a pile of rubble... This wasn't even the worst balancing act, but Jus moved some before I could grab a photo.

We found our walls have been plastered over old masonite boards, which were stuck on old wooden plank style walls. It's pretty cool to see new layers revealed, to see some of the history of the house emerge. I can't say that's a wallpaper pattern we want to keep, and pink is my least favourite colour,  but obviously a previous owner was a fan, my renovated in the 1940's or 50's and again in the 80's bathroom is also pink.

We have moved the sofa bed, tv's and consoles, with some other useful pieces of furniture into the dining room, which is now our lougeroom by day, and bedroom by night. My pantry is now our linen closet, and we have ripped out a low row of cupboards, for our fridges to fit and put some temporary shelving up, all to better use the space for kitchen essentials and an open pantry.

The strange thing is, without all of our things and living with a suitcase amount of clothes, life isn't bad. I think there is something to the minimalist thing. We could live quite comfortably live in this tiny space, if there was a door to keep the bugs out, and many people do. There will be much scrutiny over how we use our space when this is finished, and a hard look at what things we really need to be happy.

Life is still hard without our dog Murphy, I still miss him so much, and our second youngest spawn is away, working his way around Australia. Our house seems so different with only the youngest spawn at home right now. We have also put the word out with the family, until the floors are done there will be no visits to us, unless they're coming to help.

So here's to patience, successfully putting our needs first, and learning that less can actually be more.

'til next time,
Bek

Life Begins at 40

So here I am, 40 years old, and still very much me. I have become a grandmother, though we are calling me Meemaw instead, to my first Grandchild Kaylee, a beautiful, happy, and healthy little girl. She has her whole life ahead of her, so many possibilities, so much potential, I hope to be as amazing as my own grandparents, and be a positive contributor to the woman she will become. 

      We also have new life happening on our forever farm, our third year of raising chicks has started far earlier, with the addition of these two adorable chicks our Zelda has hatched.  

  The rain and wind have been crazy out here, and when the soil is really wet, a good wind is sometimes all it takes to do this. My poor beloved kombi, Annie, was so close to being back on the road, this hurt, but we are grateful to have some wonderful friends. Sonia and Ron came around and were just amazing, with Ron on the chainsaw and Sonia helping drag the offcuts, the tree is off the cars now, and they are definitely going to need some work.  

 

 

The saddest part of this post is painful to write, just six days after my birthday, we had to say goodbye to our beautiful bear, my beasty, Murphy.

The spawn look sad because they know this is Murphys last walk. 

 

 

 

Today he would have been 10 years old, but making it to almost 10 is an amazing feat for a Newfoundland, and he was amazing, and I miss him more than I can bear most days. 

Our last photo together.

 

 

I keep expecting him to be at the door when I come home, at the kitchen step when I'm cooking, at my feet when I am home during the day etc. He has been my almost constant companion, and champion doorway/walkway blocker for almost ten years, his absence leaves a huge hole in our home and my life. I am so blessed that he chose me, and when I can type without my tears blocking my vision, I will tell you more of his tale. For now, happy birthday my bear, I carry you in my heart wherever I go, and your fur, it's still everywhere, in my books, on my clothes, in my food, on my bed, in the car... I know i will still be finding little pieces of you 20 years from now, and wouldn't have it any other way. I hope there is chocolate, and belly rubs, and all of your favourite things wherever you are boofa. We miss you fluffbutt.    So now a new chapter begins at 40, the sad, learning to live without my bear, and the joy, a new role as a Grandmother. Oh, and my birthday present?   

Everyone in the family chipped in to give me this gears of war Xbox one s, it was the best surprise birthday present ever!    'Til next time, Bek.     

Finding Myself...

It has been far too long since I last took to this keyboard to write about my world, inner or real. So much has changed, too much hasn't, as I experience the last six months of my thirties, I am struggling to feel the sense of accomplishment I anticipated at this point in my life. Equally difficult, is to pinpoint the exact point it all went awry, there is far too much self-pitying reflection going on lately. Is what I'm experiencing just your average midlife crisis?

Veggie patch 3.0, last year, 2.0, was the straw bale beds in
 the background

Once upon a time, we would celebrate 40 as a huge achievement in longevity, now we could live happily to 80, and 40 becomes for some of us, a cause to grieve for our youth, lament our mistakes, resentment for things we haven't done, or situations that held us back or pushed us off the path we wanted to be on. This is not where I want to be, how many opportunities have I missed out on,  I haven't always made the best decisions.

Helpful spawn, this time we are trying a hugelbed like system.

What have I done that makes my life worthy, how will I be remembered, what really is the meaning of life? Does my existence really have a lasting purpose. At the end of my life, will I count? Its not like I'm going to cure cancer, I'm just a mum, wife, daughter etc.

Murphy - the overseer 

I feel I'm being a little self-indulgent whining like this, it hasn't all been bad, and I am proud to have survived the things that were. There has been some amazing people and moments in my life, and I know I will have many more.



Maybe we sometimes experience a little craziness at our halfway mark, just so we have an opportunity to stop and take a different road, try on some different shoes, sometimes just for a mile, or they might be too comfy to take off. The Midpoint Mayhem could be a gift, of reinvention, a shaking of the quick from the dead, a chance to find the right track, see the roads less travelled, and gain a fresh perspective.




This could be more madness than musing, but I think I'm on to something here, this could be a chance to get off the beaten path, and discover things I couldn't have dreamed I could achieve, not a new me, a wiser me.

Bek.

Old things and new.

A very old bottle, over one hundred years old, found by the crew putting in our new sewerage system, it makes me want to dig up our whole 2 acres and see what other treasures lay hidden beneath them. It's an aerated waters bottle from the eureka brewery in Ballarat, they also found a J. Bosisto eucalyptus oil bottle, and large chunks of bluestone, perhaps offcuts from the remnants of a bluestone miners cottage that resides under our bedroom.

You know you're in the country when, it's not a stray dog that ends up on your doorstep, but a stray horse!

This beautiful beasty gave me quite a surprise one morning, perhaps to help me get my overgrown grass under control, and to eat our sheep's hay that we kept dry under the verandah. Speaking of animals trespassing, we lost two chickens and a few were injured when our wood delivery guy brought his little jack Russell with him, our girls were free ranging in the backyard when the jack Russell spotted them, it was a very sad day, they have been buried in places I plan to plant fruit trees, But Hennypenny Chookles, and John (named for the master chief of course) will be missed. sadder for me was the decision to end their suffering, and I am grateful for having the friends we do, as I could not have been the one to do the deed, and Justin was at work when it happened.

I'm fostering this chicken for those same wonderful friends, 17yo spawn has already named her Marilyn Monfro, and she is keeping one of our injured chickens company in our hatching hutch.

We have been a little guilty of our chickens invading other peoples yards too, there are five naughty hens who for the past 3 days I've let them out of the run to roam, have gone to my neighbours property and had a ball, the rooster is too big to squeeze through the holes in the fence, so he just stands there crowing, and tempting the girls back to this side of the fence with worms, it's cute to watch, I now have to research how to clip my girls wings. I didn't ever want to do that, to give them a chance at avoiding predators by flying into trees, but if they're going to go digging in other peoples yards, it's time to to get the snip. 

With Justin working 7 days a week, things are slow to get done, he does small things when he can, like this small fence to keep chickens out of our western paddock. Note the destroyed veggie patch behind him, the new veggie patch will be in the western paddock, as soon as we hang a new gate from the adjoining back paddock, otherwise I'll be trading my chicken vandal problem for a sheepish dilemma.

He did take a rare day off to take us to sovereign hill, where we had an old family photo redone. 

This is us six years ago, it feels like a blink in time, six years should not go by that fast. 

Just look at how grown up they all are! The photographer was wonderful, helping us have it done as close to the original as she could. 

I need to go rinse the bright orange dye from my hair, it's been blue these past few months and I feel like a change. 

Here's to at least organised chaos in the next few weeks,

Bek.

Life as we know it...

The slow life is not so slow, but it's a very different kind of fast, and I'm happy. 

It's been nearly a year since I last posted, a year of missed opportunity to write down our experiences to look back on, to compare then and now. How then to catch up without overwhelming you or future me? I wanted to create a video with all of my photos, but iMovie and I are not speaking the same language right now, here is the condensed version.

We turned this

Into this...

By way of this

The boxes we moved with were laid over the area, old bricks were used to make some of the beds, and dirt was piled in arch shapes and covered in mulch, and gravel laid everywhere in between. We were able to reuse some pallets to make the fence.

We've had some fun and exhausting times...

No one sleeping is safe from me mwahahahah!

And we have had lots of help and family cooperation...

So that we could have these...

Who laid these

And hatched these...

Thanks to a friend I shall call the chicken sage, and her husband, for the eggs that Bacon hatched, 14yo spawn named her. 

The chicken sage invited us for a swim in the dam,

And today she helped me make Jam. 

It was delicious, the chicken sage used her blood plums, her Jam was sweet and tangy.

I used the beautiful Damson plums, that 17yo spawn picked...

...until dusk with her daddy...

In our own back paddock.

It has been a wonderful first year, and I can cross a few things off my wish list.

Be happy,

Bek.

Just a little update while I have the chance...

Thing have been so hectic and stressful the past few months, from murphy needing surgery, to buying a home, organising all the new services, and new schools for the children. There has been a bushfire scare, things needing urgent repairs, birthdays, and personal crisis's. I know, when i look back in six months time, this will all have been worth it, but right now it's bloody hard. There are good things, great things ahead, and I'm keeping my eyes open for all the good moments I want to cling to.

Our new home, or as my big sis put it, our forever home, I really love the sound of that. I dont think I can explain how much it means to me that this is ours, no more renting, no more moving, I have stability. We now have a bedroom each for all the spawn, and a spare room for guests/the office. Our poor old farmhouse was once on much more land, which has been sold off until it was surrounded by only 2 acres, and has been modified and added to in a hodge podge of styles. The only flat floors we have are in the newer additions that are now the two youngest spawns, and the dining room. 

It appears that they over compensated when they propped up the original Victorian floors, the middle is usually a good inch or two higher than the edges, although in some rooms it's just a big single slope. It's on our to do list... With 200 other things.

First thing was to call a plumber out to replace the regulator for our LPG, there was a really bad leak, it's only use is hot water, but that's one thing I can't live without. Well, not when there's no dishwasher, it took forever to fill the sink with the kettle. 

Next was to build fences and hang gates to keep murphy in, Jus did a great job with a little help from our sons, and now our love is set in concrete, literally. 

My mum looked after our Murphy while we got the property escape proof, he has never had such space, and has been my constant shadow, he seems terrified that if I'm out of sight, I'll leave him again. We aren't allowing him into the paddocks, just the main fenced in part around the house. I missed my big bear so much, it broke my heart to see how much he'd missed us too. 

Life has been very different out here, neighbours that come over to give me rhubarb, going to the general store to pick up my post, the spawn having space to run and play, and getting along a little better because they have room and aren't always on top of each other. There are still fights, but less of them. And I am loving the not having to rush myself in the morning, I don't have to drive, there is a bus that comes to pick 13yo spawn up, and 11yo spawn walks. We are currently trying to organise distance education for 16yo spawn. 

We owe so much thanks, with my poor health and Justin's back, which decided to go out the day before the main move. Without little miss perky, Ray and Jo, and 20yo spawn Mikey, we wouldn't have been able to make the main part of the move. There is still a lot to do here, but I can't finish until, we get the rest of our things, my mumma finds somewhere to live, and we can do the final clean on our old house. I am hoping this weekend I can find the physical strength to make that happen, because the clock is ticking and I have to hand in the keys. I really hate it when everything is last minute, the stress is so overwhelming, and paying for two houses is beyond hard, but there really hasn't been another choice. I can't wait until I can relax and enjoy a slow day or two, to let my body rest and heal, and to finally enjoy what we have here.

.

Bek.

  

More late night ramblings...

Taken at Wilsons prom last month, I really wish I was back there right now. 

I didn't tell you, instead of our November Sydney trip, little miss perky and I went to Wilsons Prom. It was my first time there, and our 5 day trip wasn't long enough, I loved it. I will have to share that with you sometime soon. 

  Today's date is 12.12.12, and that means, Alexisonfire at festival hall in Melbourne. My mum paid for little miss perky and I to go, and it has been on the schedule for months. Unfortunately, the cleaning, packing, stress and heat have put me out of commission, and it's devasting because this is their final tour. The band has broken up. Sometimes I really wish my body was a constant. It's hard to keep plans when your health is a time bomb. The good news is my ticket has been snapped up by 15yo spawn, and I am happy to have her buy me a T-shirt and tell me how awesome it was. Who knows, maybe they'll do a reunion tour one day, but from now on, I will reluctantly resign myself to designated seating instead of the mosh pit. 

Instead of the concert, I am trying to find the strength to keep packing and tidying, we have more people coming to check out the house tomorrow, its a frightful state, and I am exhausted. I was so tired last night, I fell asleep waiting for the chicken stock to cool and it stayed out all night, needless to say I was not taking any chances and it was thrown out, what a waste. The plumber will be here at 7.30am to fix the bathroom taps, so I have to get everyone up an hour earlier to shower, and I think I'll be tidying til after midnight. I am really looking forward to a simpler time, but I can't even begin to imagine when that could be possible. 

All my hopes are currently pinned on the country house, 2 whole acres making five paddocks, and a wood burning stove. I can't stop my thoughts from turning to horses, chickens, ducks, veggies, and bread in the wood stove. Maybe even some jam making, preserving, and a market stall with my homegrown wares... And the writing, finding some alone time to finish my novels. I am sure I have plotted the next 50years, and none of it seems slow, simple, or particularly realistic. But it is nice to dream. 

Maybe I'll go to bed now and get up two hours earlier tomorrow, sweet dreams,

Bek.